For No One
by pratz
Summary: The hardest thing to do is to let go. Aoshi x Misao.


This silly fic is my tribute to a fic titled '_A_ _Little_ _More_ _Time_ _on_ _You'_ written by Larraine Lage—now you know why this fic has some resemblance to the great said fic above.

Misao, Aoshi, and Soujiro are Watsuki Nobuhiro's and the song is The Beatles'. Mine is just the story. I _do_ love the Aoshi x Misao pairing, but I found something more interesting in this song. It's matched Aoshi, ne? I also wanted Soujiro to find a little happiness—it's sad to see him being hurt behind his gorgeous smiles. Please send me reviews, and yeah, flames are also welcoming!

FOR NO ONE

Author: pratz

"Misao..." He swallowed in pain. His throat went dry and it seemed like he was choked to death. His heart clenched in his chest. Hurt, pain, and sadness mixed perfectly deep within him.

She sat before him, stared at him. Her innocent deep blue eyes almost made him want to run away and never look back, said 'I no longer need you, Aoshi-sama. I've decided my decision.'And next to her was a man, someone who had—he'd tried to find another word, but didn't find any—_stolen_ her from him. His... _rival_.And also the winner of this deadly game of life.

She smiled slightly, seemed like she laughed at him, laugh at all his acts. She would leave. His thoughts seemed to freeze, unable to comprehend what was going on, but all too aware of the implications. She couldn't go. He couldn't let her. She had to stay. She always stayed. He felt very cold. She was his light, his only light in his own darkness. And without her, he felt... afraid.

He's afraid.Totally afraid."Misao..."She raised her eyebrows delicately to ask him. But her eyes were focused to only one thing, her breath stopped as she stared at his palm on top of her hands."Aoshi-sama?"_Don't..._Even if he had needed to, he wasn't strong enough to break the contact he finally had, the feel of soft skin against his callused fingers. He wasn't even sure where the words had come from, or even exactly what he wanted to say to her.How he wanted to shout out all of his frustration. How he wanted to get rid off his anger and hatred, but he just couldn't. How he wanted to rip out the bloody heart from the boy beside her—beside _his_ Misao. Seta Soujiro. The Tenken once before and the man who had stolen her heart. But if he killed Soujiro, Misao would be sad, and he would prefer his death better than Misao's tears. She could love him, or even hate him, but please... no more tears of hers.He gritted his teeth and, hurtfully, let go of her hand. The sight of Soujiro's softly smile boiled his blood, triggering it to rush to his head. But his face kept emotionless like he always did.He cleared his throat, his voice was almost a hoarsely whisper. "Go, Misao. You have my bless."His heart broke in anguish. He knew he was lying. He noticed the change of her expression and it was pained himself so much. He hated himself for that, for hurting his Misao again.But he's wrong. She's no longer his—no, she was never his.She was _never_ his.

**  
your day breaks**

**your**** mind aches**

**you**** find that all her words of kindness linger on**

**when**** she no longer needs you**

His mind spun back and forth. His head hurt like a meteor just had hit him straightly on the head._I want her!_ He screamed in silent. _Why can't I shout it out? I don't want to lose her! Not now!__Not now. Not now when I...__When I..._His words died even before he said them. He gazed at her dully. His fists tightened beside him and his hands were softly shaking, but he hid them in his sleeve._Not now,_ he repeated. _Not now when I finally found my redemption._His redemption was Misao. Without her, he would come back into the sea of hatred he'd made before.

Soujiro took his redemption for his own redemption, for his own atonement. Yet he couldn't blame the former Tenken even though he wanted so much to accuse someone due to his lost. Oh how he wanted to scream at someone, pointed all of his mistakes to that someone, and shouted _'You! It's all your fault! It's all because of you I lost her!'_

Coward.He's truly a coward indeed.He couldn't, shouldn't blame Soujiro. In Soujiro he saw his own eyes, filled with stresses and sadness, in Soujiro he found himself—a lost man in the world. They were the same like the shapes of a coin. And they also loved the same woman. But at least the young rurouni could give her happiness. Soujiro could give something he himself couldn't ever give. It's no one fault that they both found their redemption in the same woman.

**  
she wakes up**

**she**** makes up**

**she**** takes her time and doesn't feel she has to hurry**

**she**** no longer needs you**

She was going to leave. To leave all her pain behind. To leave him.And she's happy.He could see it clearly in her eyes. The sparkle in her deep blue eyes had shown him her happiness. In the old time, how he wished her to be happy, how he wanted someone finally make her happy, and most of all, how he wanted to be that someone.But his mouth was closed, clamped shut. His lips only consumed bitterness and hatred. The wall he once built to protect himself from the outside on the oppositely return had made a gap between him and her.and in her eyes you see nothing

no sign of love behind the tears

cried for no one

a love that should had lasted years

He wouldn't ever have even one make up for all of his mistakes towards her. For every time he pushed her away. For every time he made her heart break. For every painful tear she had shed for him. For every mistake. She would go away from him, far from his hand to be reached.Behind his ice mask, he truly needed her. He truly wanted her. How could she understand? Did she know how many sleepless nights he had, aware for her leaving him when he was sleeping?He knew how much she loved him. He always thought he's the one she wanted to see in first hand and yet he refused her. He always wanted to say the three words that extremely would make her ruin her own life for waiting him.

**  
you want her**

**you**** need her**

**and**** yet you don't believe her when she said**

**her**** love is dead**

**you**** think she needs you**

But he just couldn't. He's afraid... afraid to drawn her down into his own murkiness. He's afraid she would lose all her genkiness and happiness. He's afraid to throttle her smile forever if she were with him.Even now, over those matters, he still refused to believe her words. He didn't want to believe she's leaving him. He didn't want to believe that his torch in his darkness finally dimmed away.

**  
and in her eyes you see nothing**

**no**** sign of love behind the tears**

**cried**** for no one**

**a**** love that should had lasted years**

But he couldn't deny what her eyes told him. If it were love, then it was but not for him anymore. He couldn't deny.

**  
you stay home**

**she**** goes out**

**she**** says that long ago she knew someone but now he's gone**

**she**** doesn't need him**

"I will move with Soujiro soon, Aoshi-sama. But we won't be faraway from the Aoiya, if that you've been worry about."He really understood. Of course. Too much painful memories for her to stay in Aoiya, to stay near him.

**  
your day breaks**

**your**** mind aches**

**there**** will be time when all the things she said**

**will**** fill your head**

**you**** won't forget her**

_'Aoshi-sama, play with me!'_Her words when she just a five years old child rang out through his ears. The smiled she always gave him was on her face. The same smile he almost wiped out the day when he fought Okina._'I'm no longer a child, Aoshi-sama. Just don't worry, you can talk everything to me, I promise.'_The day Himura invited them to Tokyo, she gave him her very smile. She was happy just to have such plain and simple thing like him talking a little bit more to her."Aoshi-sama..." She called out his name. "You won't be lonely, will you? I don't want you to be alone.""Aa."What a damn lie.Lie all over again.After these years of waiting and being hurt, she still cared for him. But how could he be so utterly selfish by asking her to stay? He had known she would be happy with Soujiro, as the boy loved her so much. His life didn't matter that much, hers did.

**  
and in her eyes you see nothing**

**no**** sign of love behind the tears**

**cried**** for no one**

**a**** love that should had lasted years**

She smiled slightly and gave him a peck on the cheek and, hand in hand with Soujiro, stepped out from the Aoiya. He noticed Soujiro's blue gi—a tanabata gift from Misao herself—looked so much like his heart, and the dead trees behind him, like the love he once had."Misao?"She turned back facing him. He prepared himself for the final goodbye."Be happy, Misao."She smiled. "I know. Thank you, Aoshi-sama."Misao bowed formally to him. Soujiro did also in honor and smiled warmly to her when she reached out for Soujiro's hand. Aoshi sighed in jealousy but he knew he had to keep her happiness, even if it were not because of him."Until we meet again, Aoshi-sama."With her leaving and their backs for him, he broke down on his knees and cried. 


End file.
